And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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