margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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