This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
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