Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
