oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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