Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
