Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
