I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
