She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
