You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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