I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
