just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
