i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
