dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
