Quick, to the slutcave!
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
