I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
