i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
