is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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