do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
