I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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