good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
