Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
