you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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