if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
