Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
