Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
