You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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