Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
