Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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