nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
