Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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