he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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