i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Randomize
