I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
