It's like God shit irony all over that family
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Randomize
