You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
