i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Randomize
