Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Randomize
