she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
