so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
