If that was your dad, he is hot
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
