well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Randomize
