I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
