Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He felt like a one man threesome
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I need a burrito and a hug.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
