Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
