That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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