i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
