so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
