I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Pants are for mortals
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
