You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
